It was 2 years ago this week that we were in Victoria, BC for my son’s wedding. He is the brother closest to Misha in age and relationship, and it tore at my heart that she would not be there to celebrate with us. I even purchased plane tickets for her. We knew that she would have to be sober for a couple weeks before we left and each week, I told her….we are flying in ___ weeks…but it never sunk in how she might feel later. The rest of our 7 children, their spouses and our granddaughters all made the necessary arrangements to attend the wedding. It was going to be a family gathering on the other side of the country! All off my children love Austen. He is our fourth son, very talented musically, godly, sociable and even tempered. He met his fiancé through Misha’s best friend Sydney who moved there in 2015. Misha made the drive out there with them when they moved, and I flew out to get her after a few weeks. There have been many flights back and forth since and we often had Sydney staying at our house in London for periods of time or Misha flying there for a few weeks every summer. I should have been over the moon. But I was not.

I was very stressed about the trip and spent many hours crying into my sink. At that time. I was part of an online coaching group that a friend had begun a year earlier. A handful of us met once a week online to hear a word of encouragement from Kristy who led the group and to pray for and encourage each other. It was two weeks before we flew. Her question to us that week was: What is something that you must do this week or next that you are absolutely dreading? Tell us what it is and why you are dreading it?

I could not get through my fears without sobbing. I was afraid to leave Misha while she was on the street and not be close by if she needed help. Her lifestyle was so erratic, she was having seizures regularly and even had overdosed in the months previous. I should have been elated about the wedding, spending 10 days with my son, his bride, my kids and his new family in the most beautiful province in the country. But instead, I was stressed and despairing that I had to go. All the necessary arrangements were finished. I had my dress. Photos had been searched through and sent. Accommodations and car rentals made. Speeches written. But I was struggling.

The next question was: Okay, frame that answer as ‘I get to!’ I began to list off in my head all the things I should be excited about. I was going to fly across the country, to one of the most beautiful places in our country and spend a week there with my family! I was going to support my son in marrying a beautiful, godly young woman and spend time getting to know her family. I would be with my other kids for a week, and we would have many precious moments together to make memories. I would get to spend time with my best friend who had moved there in 2015, hiking and visiting some of our favourite hangout spots. That reframing totally changed my perspective about the trip. Yes, there were the usual jitters about flying, making connections and everyone getting there safely. My one daughter was flying alone with three young children and my other daughter had two-one was a teen though so not as worrisome. And I still had some reservations about leaving Misha at home alone. But it completely changed my emotional state and I began to feel the excitement and adventure of it. Kristy was a genius, and I appreciated her insight so much!

We arrived early in the week, as we wanted to spend a few days alone with Abigail and Austen as there would be no time after the wedding. Abigail’s aunt and uncle had offered us the free use of a recently renovated suite in their backyard, and it was beautiful! As soon as we arrived at their house, I stepped out of the car in front of a giant sequoia tree which was amazing! It was like God said….here’s a tree…just for you, Rosemary! Have I mentioned I love trees?

My beautiful Sequoia!

We went for dinner with Austen and Abbey and visited the harbour front where I spent a good hour beachcombing for rocks, sitting on beached piles of logs and gazing off across the strait at the Olympic mountains which glowed in the distance. It was my contemplation time. The piles of logs reminded me of my father and how much he loved wood; He would have been trying to find a way to get some of those logs home. On the way to the harbour, I had received a frantic call from Misha. She was asking if I was coming into town for my usual visit and needed something. She didn’t even remember that I was away for the week. She said, “Oh, never mind, It’s okay. I’ll figure something out,” and hung up.

And that was that.

We planned to visit Butchart Gardens with my son and his soon-to-be-bride. Butchart Gardens is an entire historic estate turned into a fantastic garden filled with overflowing beds of flowers, trees, winding paths, and gorgeous outlooks. There was a slight issue. My husband had developed a sore foot. We never discovered if it was a blood clot from the flight or another issue, but he could barely walk, so we borrowed a wheelchair for the day. Abbey’s mom joined us, and we spent several hours wandering the pathways through beautiful displays while taking turns pushing Dolph in the wheelchair. In the middle of the estate, we came across a beautiful Victorian carousel that was made up of whimsical animals such as frogs wearing ruffled saddles, zebras, giraffes and unicorns! It was magical. But for some reason, I did not want to go on it. Abbey’s mom bought me a $3 ticket anyway and it was the most wonderful thing that anyone did for me! It was a magical 3-minute ride, watching the world spin by as we floated up and down like children to music on mystical animals. Those three minutes changed something in me. My heart flooded! It was just a carousel ride.

The rest of the garden was a walk through the ‘tree section’--a winding path through the forest to the inlet where the couple who built the gardens had started their business of mining limestone in the late 1800’s. That walk was amazing! I’ve always been a fan of forests and trees, and I was in my element! My son chided me later when he saw my Instagram post. “Mom, I took you to the most beautiful gardens in almost the entire world and all the photos you posted were of trees!”

What can I say? I’m my father’s daughter!

The rest of the family were arriving the next day! We went to Sydney to meet them all at the airport! First, a trip to Sydney habour where we spent some time at Glass Beach—a small beach on the strait side of the island where an old glass factory was located, had caught fire and then was pushed into the ocean. It was paradise for me! The entire beach was glass! I picked out a small bagful and put my feet in the water. Mt Baker glowed in the distance.

Then we were off to the airport to meet the kids and help with the Littles while our daughters navigated car rentals and car seats. It was so fun seeing them all come into arrivals. It was a good thing we were there. One daughter had only her digital wallet on her phone and couldn't pay for her rental without the physical card. Our other daughter was given the wrong sized car seats and needed us to watch her girls while she sorted it out. Austen, his brother Adrian and wife Hannah, hung out in arrivals while we gathered everyone’s luggage and sorted rentals. It was like a family reunion in the small airport. Eventually we were off and headed to a restaurant to eat, catch up and make plans for the days remaining until the wedding!

I was eager to go downtown and meet the homeless community. My friend’s husband pastored a church close to downtown, so I headed there one afternoon while Dolph toured the harbour with Austen and Abbey. I had received a warning from Austen. He asked me not to visit the homeless community while I was there or at least before the wedding. He was worried that I might be hurt and ruin the festivities. I agreed for the sake of the wedding and put it off until the morning we left. I was hosting the rehearsal dinner and Austen’s new in-laws were kind enough to allow me to host it at their home. Abbey's mom drove me to Costco to pick up supplies and I spent the day before the wedding cooking up a storm in her kitchen. We dined on burgers and salads accompanied with wine and Vancouver Island’s finest IPA’s, followed with pie and ice cream. Watching the two families meet and join together was such a blessing! My heart was full!

The next day was the wedding! I was exhausted from the day before, but we all made it to the church on time in spite of a last minute dash to the mall as my husband forgot to bring a tie! The ceremony was beautiful! The church was a historic catholic church, built in the late 1800’s and beautiful inside, which only added to the ambiance of the ceremony. The front facade of the church had a tall spire with a brass cross at the top and another brass cross above the portico over the front doors. Getting our entire family into a lineup for photos was a bit of a challenge for the photographer, but she succeeded. I was very emotional at that point, thinking of my daughter—nodded out in some parking lot at home and missing such a momentous family occasion and yet another family photo she would not be in. I held it in as long as I could, the familiar ache in my chest rising to my eyes , so I turned my head to hide my tears after the last click of the lens. My eyes fell on that cross high above us. The sun broke through the clouds and lit that cross up until it shone gold! He was here with me. He knew my sorrow. I felt his peace wash over me.

Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights.

For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.

Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you, and your righteousness to the upright of heart!

Psalm 36:5-10

The happy couple left on their honeymoon and I wanted to spend the next day with the grands and my daughters before we all flew home. My oldest daughter was in school online and had to finish a project, so we picked up her kids and left her to work alone in her hotel room. I wanted to take her youngest daughter, Ocean to visit the ocean and I knew the perfect place! Witty’s Cove is an inlet on the southwest coast of the island where the tides go out and leave an enormous stretch of beach with exposed tidal pools swarming with sea life! I had forgotten how long the hike was to the cove, but we made it—my husband walking with a cane and me hobbling along, carrying a picnic basket and blanket. The girls ran ahead, exclaiming at each discovery and dancing in anticipation of the beach. They were not disappointed! Ocean danced in the water in her first exposure to the ocean and Marley and I spent hours combing the pools, lifting rocks and chasing crabs! My daughter, Amy soon arrived with her little crew and they were off exploring with their cousins. We spent a glorious few hours before hiking the long walk back to the car, on which we found a creature I had been telling them about but was not sure I would find as it was still early spring and cool-the Banana slug! I know—gross! But my oldest granddaughter, Marley loves all the weirdest and most wonderful creatures and she was happy to see her first 5” long slug!

Next, we were off to Mt Doug! I prefer to hike up, but we were too sore and injured to make the climb, so we drove to the summit. I’m not sure what they were expecting, but the Littles, my husband, and daughter were delighted with the view and we had a good hour with the girls scrambling around on the rocks and giving me heart attacks as they pushed the boundaries and neared the edges several times! We finished the day by picking up my oldest daughter and taking a tour of the harbour on a little boat taxi which was quite cute! The Fairmont Empress Hotel was lit up and looked beautiful as the sun edged over the horizon! We walked around downtown until we found an eat-in restaurant that was still open and finished off the day with a meal together.

The next morning was my turn to head downtown before we left. My friend’s church has a ministry team that goes downtown on Saturdays, but I was unable to join them because of the wedding. Carolyn did manage to get her hands on some tracts. I picked her up early and we headed to Tim Horton’s—first to buy a box of coffee (in Canada, Tim Horton’s sells around 20 coffees in a thermos box with cups, cream and sugars for events...or taking downtown to the homeless.) She had never done anything like this and was a bit nervous and to tell you the truth....Victoria’s homeless problem had been so hyped up that I had no idea what to expect. We prayed before we left the parking lot—that we would be able to be a blessing, speak the gospel, connect with people and encourage them....safely. And it was just like home...but smaller population! The street across from a shelter had a dozen tents lined up on the sidewalk. People loitered outside their tents and in groups. We parked close by, got out and I pulled out the coffee, donuts and muffins and put them on the trunk. We soon had a group of mostly men lined up for a cofffee. I grabbed a handful of tracts out of the car and set them beside the coffee, but when I saw the looks passed between a few of them, I quickly shoved them in my pocket. In my experience, a conversation is better than a tract and if it goes deep enough, a tract can be left with them, but I tend not to lead with them. I lead with coffee, food, cigarettes and conversation. My friend who had been nervous, was by now deeply engrossed in conversations as she poured coffees and handed them out. One of the men asked me to bring a coffee and muffin to a tent where a younger girl was lying down and not wanting to leave her tent, so we wandered through the maze of tents, greeting people, stopping for introductions and a brief chat and then coming to the girl’s tent. She was young and told me she can’t go home. Her name was Grace. We had some good conversations about spiritual things. There is often one believer in the bunch who is willing to step in and support what you are saying. We prayed with the group and I talked with them about the issues on the street at home. One thing they said was that the city cleans the street with a firehose and you have to get your stuff down and moved. Some give no notice and just drive down the street, hitting them with a blast of water. The ones that care will drive down once, wait 15 minutes and then come back with the water. I don’t remember seeing anyone openly using. A harm reduction group set up opiate vending machines here with ‘clean opiates’. They were accessible to teens, so they were shut down, but it’s just a sign of where our Canadian government is at.

My husband was happy to see me arrive back safely and we packed up and headed for the airport. I was eager to see Misha and after a safe arrival and night’s sleep, I headed to town to look for her. Craig’s birthday passed while I was away and I knew how much he loved pizza, so I took them to their favourite pizza place and bought them pizza, then ice cream. A 2 liter box of ice cream is just perfect on the street! They ask for extra spoons and dig in, eat as much as they can, then pass the carton along for someone else to finish. There is never a lack of takers on that hand off!

Two weeks later, I found her lying in a parking lot, dirty and groggy from 4 successive seizures. I’m so glad she did not have this episode while I was gone. You can read about it here.

God richly blessed me on this trip, in spite of all my fears! He gave me things that I love! Trees, mountains, the wonderful wedding of my son, a new daughter-in-law, time with family and friends, and adventures with the Littles in some of my favourite places! He is faithful!

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